Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
