I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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