It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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