He is an equal opportunity slut.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize