The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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