If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize