she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
no you cant smoke seaweed
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
