There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
