Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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