her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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