I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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