what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
