Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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