? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
