I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
only you would photoshop your dick
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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