so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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