i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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