So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
