its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
