butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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