Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
