my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
