Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
