"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A+ Viking dick
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
