just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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