Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
