there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
