Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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