I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I have demons in me.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You can't just leave with hair like that
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
