who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
