wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize