I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
