Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
