how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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