I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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