We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
