I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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