yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This is my gift to your gina
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
