Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
