My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
