Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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