How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
