oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
