You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
