Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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