Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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