She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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