obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
