Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
