don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
