her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
