u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Randomize
