I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
