I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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