what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
